i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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