Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
