oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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