She's JV to your varsity
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
