friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
