I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
