wrigley field is MILF paradise
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
