your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
