Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
