I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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