i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
