i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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