she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
