he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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