It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
