if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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