it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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