party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So vagazzling was a success
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