just come out here and I will go home with you...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
