He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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