i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
