So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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