I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
