Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
