Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
