I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
