I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
