but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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