How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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