Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
