That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
