glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
