Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
