I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
