White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
