I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
