Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
