oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
