I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
