he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
