some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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