Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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