You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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