We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
