All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
