I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
