ya dads aren't the best wingmen
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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