it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
