So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you will always have a special place in my vag
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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