I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
